I DID IT!
I represented Turkey in the World Championships of Freestyle Kayaking 🇹🇷 I got 16.67 points and am over the moon with it
Going into the event, I had 3 goals;
1) Create genuine connections
2) Actively get myself out of my comfort zone & into uncertainty
3) Become friends with failing, so much so that I never see it as an obstacle again
And MAN, did I achieve those!
Meeting, supporting & celebrating with international paddlers like we've known each other for years.
Connecting with family and friends following my journey from the start.
Sharing every step of my journey (even the hard bits) on live videos
2) Comfort zone: From Accommodation drama to being a the only Turkish paddler. From competing against the BEST freestyle paddlers in the world to overcoming relationship challenges and growing in this new environment... YES I was out my comfort zone.
3) Failure: The night before my competition I practiced on my own for a whole hour. The whole hour I got trashed & rolled about. A few moves worked but most didn't, I felt frustrated, I got off the water, then got back on again. But once the competition came, I got the moves I wanted (2 spins - 16.67). I was prepared for zero's, which some people got, which is why I was over the moon when I saw that both of my rides scored something. Looking at the below photo after my first ride, my sister thought I'd won (VERY far off :D)!
You may know that when I first arrived into Spain, I struggled with understanding why I was here and how this fit into my bigger purpose of helping people live in-line with their authentic self so that they can make a meaningful impact in the world. That's how the 3 goals I listed above came about.
I have realised stronger than ever that the FEELING of "purpose" is one of the most sought after things in the world. But most of us don't UNDERSTAND what it means. We can't logically comprehend it because it's so hard to measure ⚖️. Which leads to us just being fine with the "empty" feeling we get left with.
WHAT DOES PURPOSE ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE?
I believe it looks like making a meaningful impact in the world.
Some people think it looks like medals or money, some people think it looks like having a happy family, a good work environment or lots of awards. Some people even think it looks like NOT making money at all.
But through this event and from my business journey beforehand I have came to the blatant realisation that all of these are the RESULTS of living with purpose. But in the world we live in, we're brought up to believe that they ARE the purpose. So we strive for them. Spending time, energy and resources on getting each individual one.
We get frustrated when we can't get them. And when we do get them, something starts to happen...
People are now realising, as they and the generations before them achieve these "results" and make it "to the top"... that there is something deeper that they're missing. That the FEELING of purpose they're looking for isn't in the THINGS they achieve after all.
Wether that's in competition, in work or in life.
If you're still on the cusp of understanding, let me speed up your realisation for you.
If it can be taken away from you, it's not your purpose. No one and no thing can take your purpose away from you.
Publicity and money are FUEL to amplify who we are inside.
Especially in business!
Who we are inside and the "results" we see in our business has a direct connection. So starting from ourselves and working from the inside out, is more relevant to business today, more than it has been ever before.
I call them purpose-based businesses. The ones where the owner is so clear on their purpose and so free of emotional baggage ... that the business makes a meaningful impact on the world while being wildly successful and surrounded by an incredibly inspired community.
Being a purpose-based human is the difference that makes the difference. The "results" that we strive for, suddenly become connected to each other.
The time it takes to realise this is different for everyone. For some... as soon as they graduate. For others, when they reach the "very top". And some know it all along but just don't do anything about it. This is why, when you start something, your motivation levels feel great and as the excitement wears off it plummets.
But the questions is, do we always have to learn the hard way or is there a way to work from the inside out from the start?
This is my mission. This is why I help create purpose-based humans and businesses and this is why I do not identify as a business coach, or by an label at that; because it doesn't capture the depth in which my work goes.
If you've read this far and if you too want to live as a purpose-based human, I have a question for you... and I want to know your answer!
How have you been measuring purpose so far?
Realisation is the first step to change. Write down below <3
Sending lots of love,
My dad was the first person to introduce white water rafting to Turkey. He started off running rivers by trying to join car tires together, he then ordered his first raft from China. Once he knew how to use them, he turned them into a commercial trips, which quickly gained traction. So much so that people who saw his success started copying him. Before the river was dammed, there were tens of other companies trying to offer the same service on the same river.
This happened in the other areas he worked in too. Sea kayaking, hiking, canyonning, mountain biking... There was always someone who offered a cheaper deal. However, people still kept choosing my parent's company over theirs.
I watched him become the leading outdoor specialist in Turkey. Mentor younger guides. Have clients come back requesting him especially as the guide.
I always was inspired, but I never knew exactly what it was about him.
Last time I was in Turkey I found out what his WHY was.
"To help people connect to nature so that they can have mentally and physically healthy lives without having to resort to the artificial alternatives"
So he always would make the BEST meals on his trips, provide the BEST entertainment and have meaningful connections because of his WHY. Something none of the other companies had. People believed in his WHY, so were attracted to him over the companies who lacked one.
This is what happens when a sense of WHY or purpose is lost:
- Loss of passion
- Unclear direction
- Lack of energy
- Lack of dreams
- No way of measuring success apart from money. So the sense of fulfillment wavering in direct correlation with money.
With a sense clear sense of WHY comes:
- Loyalty from customers and employees
- Longevity of your work
- A filter to see if opportunities, people, and staff are a right fit
- Natural energy, motivation and focus
- A way of measuring if you're on the right track that is separate to income: making a meaningful difference
- The more you give the more you receive. An increased impact means increased fulfillment and increased growth
With an articulated sense of WHY:
- People can continue the legacy you left, it doesn't stop when you stop
- Allows more and more people to believe in what you're doing and join the movement
Is this the kind of life that you would love to create for yourself?
Aligned with your WHY, fulfilled and making an impact?
If YES, lets have a chat where we get to the core of exactly where you're getting stuck and the steps you need to take to go forward. It is totally free and will likely be the most valuable 45 mins you will have spent time on this year.
I don't know about you but I believe in a world where we live in-line with our true AUTHENTIC self .
To me that means reaching my fullest potential, being deeply fulfilled and creating a meaningful difference in the world.
Business and money only amplify who we already are and what we stand for.
If you're confused about your why, about what you stand for and your purpose - then confusion and vagueness is amplified in your life and business.
This leads to surface level interactions, fluctuating and unpredictable levels of focus, energy and motivation, lack of dreams, sense of repetitiveness...
Sound familiar? Then I have a question for you...
Is this what you want to spend your life amplifying?
Because deep down, you have a lion(es) in there that knows you're made for something more, that you're able to make a masterpiece out of your life and be deeply fulfilled.
When it roars, that's when authenticity starts flowing naturally.
When it roars people listen, not because it's loud but because they believe in it.👂
The 5 steps that allow your lion to roar unapologetically are as follows:
1) Release your lion(es) from the cage of fear, doubt and comfort it's been living in. Healing and breaking through
2) Let it explore with curiosity and bravery the sound of its own roar. Who is this lion(es) and what does it stand for?
This isn't the step you find out WHAT you want to do but, WHY you are doing it. Getting crystal clear on your why, your core values and your gifts... because this is what you will be amplifying when you roar!
3) Dream a vision. A vision that amplifies your WHY. One that pulls you forward every day and you know HOW your roar is going to make a difference in the world
4) Reverse engineer WHAT needs to happen for the vision to become reality today, next month, next year and further
5) Take action, receive feedback, adjust course and take action again
I followed these steps in my own journey and they're the exact same steps my clients go through in my 8 week Roar Authentically program.
I got a message from Ed just yesterday, who has been in my Roar Authentically program for 5 weeks now;
"Everything is aligning perfectly. One of my best periods of my life here (so far)!"
Seeing this honestly lights me up!
If this is the type of message you would love to write too and if authenticity, fulfillment, energy, focus, motivation and impact sound like the things you want to amplify in your life and business, let's have a chat!
In the call we will identify exactly where you're stuck and create a customised game plan for you to move forward. If we're a good fit, I will invite you to work with me, but even if not it will be packed with value and give you some newfound clarity!
Today I stayed up untill 10pm working! I ate a two light meals, went for two walks in the sun with Ben (my dog we're looking after), had a session with a client, talked to some prospects and suddenly it's 10pm!
I'm not an advocate of staying up late working but I am an advocate of having something worth staying up late and working for.
3 years ago when I was still at uni, I had a shit ton of work to get through and zero motivation to get through it.
So a Thursday might have looked something like; get up anxious about the mountain of work I need to do, go to my morning lecture, come home have lunch, make a cup of tea, do 20mins of coursework, decide I need to have another cuppa to focus, do 15 mins of work, spend 20 mins of Facebook, go get a snack, come back and go on Facebook, watch all my you tube videos again, decide it's time for a break, feel guilty that I haven't done any work, do 30 mins of work, then decide to go to the beach for an evening walk. Start work again at 10pm, work for 1-2h then go to bed exhausted, drained, feeling unproductive, unsocial and anxious about repeating it again the next day.
I thought it was about my ability to focus. I thought it was that I wasn't hard working enough. Not ambitious enough. And even when I did give it my all, I still didn't get the best marks. I thought I just wasn't good enough!
But I now know, it wasn't because of any of those things. I wasn't doing what I loved doing! My heart wasn't in it. My soul wasn't in it. So there was no source of natural energy, motivation or drive.
In my work now, I know I'm making a difference. In the hard day's I have the focus and motivation to solve problems and keep going. In the good days I celebrate like I've never done before. I have the preserverence of a river, will power of a waterfall and the adaptability of water in different containers.
It all started with listening to my intuition. Then taking action which felt scary and uncertain. Getting myself amazing mentors. Getting clear on my dreams, core values and unique gifts. Doing the inner work to breakthrough my mental and emotional blockages. Dedicating myself to physical, mental and emotional health and giving permission to myself to thrive.
A transformation, without which I would still have thought I just wasn't good enough.
Do you feel the pull to have unlimited natural energy, focus and drive in your life and create meaningful impact?
We live in a world of "fine".
Even if you don't feel happy. Even if you feel like there's more to life:
"Yeah, it's not ideal but I'm fine"
"This is how it's always been. I've survived. I'll be fine".
"I don't really know how I would change. Anyway, it's fine"
Of course, this is fine... if "fine" is where you want to be.
But here's why "fine" can be such a dangerous place to operate from.
1) It is a limbo state where the situation is not ideal but you convince yourself that it not bad either. So therefore there is no motivation to change.
2) This thinking pattern leads to numbing the parts of you that do long for change and want to thrive.
3) Therefore you stop trying to improve and grow out of your rut, and start focusing on the "not so bad" parts of your situation and remind yourself that it could be worse; in an attempt to ease the pain
4) This state of limbo can cost you without you even noticing. Relationships, your well being, money and energy, years and decades of time... And who knows what else.
The only 2 ways to get out of this limbo state is to:
A. Continue until it's so painful that change forces itself upon you (hitting rock bottom)
B. Acknowledge the severity and urgency for change and act on it now
So fuck it. No more lying to yourself. No more numbing. You are so worth it. The world needs you to thrive.
So, head out the sand and answer this:
How much is it costing you to stay "fine"? Emotionally, mentally, in relationships, time-wise or financially?
In spring 2017, I decided to go on a gap year. I didn't call it a gap year then but when I look back, what I did was custom design a transformational year as a highway to my dream life.
In hindsight, it marked the beginning of really living a life that's on my own terms. Here's the 7 levels of depth to how that happened:
1. The Plan: The plan is not to have a plan
In a journal from May 2017 I wrote about wanting to create a life full of belonging, freedom, authenticity and purpose. I had figured that much out from my life experience so far but what would a life like that actually look like?!
After uni, I decided I didn't want to pursue a career in geology. So I clarified my dream exactly and then let go of any attachment to how I was going to achieve it. I wanted to achieve my dream by following my heart and my nose, by turning any opportunity into something that will serve me and through the magic of spontaneity.
The plan was to not have a plan. The direction was to achieve my dream life. So for the first time in my life it was the dream that was concrete and apart from a vague idea, the plan was not. Read on to find out how this was probably the best way to start my gap year.
2. Experiences: Each experience I have, brings me closer to my goals
First stop, Bali. Mt. Agung was errupting at the time and my flight would not have been able to land if I had arrived 2 days later. I became a yoga teacher. It was a month filled with love, gratitude, huge amounts of learning and moving through challenges with compassion. I was basking in the indonesian beauty, climate and spirit. It has given me a gift to connect with my feminine whenever I need to.
A couple of months later I moved to a beautiful small town in Western Australia and worked for a company called Adventure Works where I worked with teenagers in the outdoors helping them with their transition into adulthood. I learnt so much about managing dynamics, holding delicate conversations and turning conflict into learnings but perhaps the biggest thing I got out of it was seeing how a small company operates. An invaluable system to observe first hand.
While still in Dunsborough, I got to teach yoga twice a week and truly experienced the gift of giving. The life energy that I felt from delivering a beautiful class to beautiful people was amazing!
During a part of my stay here, I lived at a yoga retreat centre with the owner, her 4 kids, 2 dogs, 12 chickens and a sheep. I was an au-pair and helped out with the kids and business in exchange for delicious ayurvedic food ever and a love-filled home. I reconnected to the joy of play through the kids and since I left that place, I have had some amazing rituals in place to look after my wellbeing. What a gift!
The training was one hell of a month filled with love, gratitude, huge amounts of learning and moving through challenges with compassion. One of the challenges was the erupting Mt. Agung. The other was me trying to hold onto a relationship from my ''old life'' during a period of rapid transformation and personal growth. I eventually realised that with personal growth the right relationship also evolves.
Overall I was basking in the beauty of the island, sacred teachings, strong friendships and a great feeling of empowerment that I'm now actually qualified to earn money by doing something I love. But I knew that it was the first step into the journey of creating a life full of that feeling.
4. First leap of faith
During the training I started thinking about where I was going to spend Christmas and what job I was going to do in Australia. I really didn't want to be on my own in a hostel room during Christmas and I really didn't want to just work in a cafe in Australia after experiencing so much purpose i Bali. As I was trying to stay as present as possible on my journey to becoming a yoga teacher, I only ended up applying to 2 jobs in Australia. One was a company called Adventure Works in Western Australia who work with young adults, taking them on outdoor expeditions while having important conversations about their transition into adulthood. After a skype interview with them with very dodgy Balinese internet, I got the job!
5. Generosity of distant friends
I had one month before I had to be in Perth for a training to start the job. So I flew to Canberra to stay with a friend I met in Russia on a volcanology field trip. We had a bbq on Christmas, spent the week exploring the Blue Mountains and drove down to the coast south of Sydney for New Years (2018) where we ate, played the guitar around the camp fire and woke up to 2019 on the beach.
The month before I started at Adventure Works turned out to be a great time to travel and connect with the distant people I knew in Australia. In Sydney; I met Vicky, A family friend as well as Claire O'hara the 2018 freestyle kayaking world champion. In Adelaide, I met my life coach Juliet Lever and when in Perth; I stayed with Sandy Robson, a well-known kayaker that paddled from Germany to Australia.
When I finally got to Dunsborough, to the little paradise 3 hours south of Perth that would end up being my base; I was very lucky to be welcomed at my mums friends house who by chance happened to be living very close to my work.
During this month, I was exposed to the generosity of people I only know very little. It was heart warming to have homes opened up to me and create beautiful connections around Australia. Its a beautiful feeling when a door is opened in a place that feels so far from home.
6. Building a new life in Western Australia
Within a matter of days I had bought a car for £900 and was renting a spare room in a locals house with 2 sausage dogs and a beach view! I was surrounded by a new community of people passionate about making a difference. I felt valued for my outdoor experience and supported in holding important conversations with young people. I was teaching yoga twice I week in a beautiful studio and I realised that for the first time in my life that I was earning money only doing stuff that I loved and wanted to spend my time and energy on!
3. Qualifications: Amplifying the progress towards my goals
My yoga teacher training was the first qualification I ever got where I could actually earn money by doing something I loved. But it was just the beginning.
Since my childhood, I've been exposed to the outdoor activity for recreation industry through my parent's profession, which helped me get jobs along my journey. But Adventure Works was what bridged that gap from an outdoor educator to the personal development coaching field. Realising my passion for how powerful the mind is, I returned to England halfway through my gap year and studied to become an Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner. I understood so much about the human brain and consequentially about my and all young people's potential. I started smashing all my goals I set myself.
Throughout my gap year, I developed a brand of my own called Be Water Yoga and Coaching where I worked 1-1 with people doing mindset coaching as well as private and public yoga classes. However, the bit I was unfamiliar with was the business side - I had no idea! But the right teacher attracts the student, and when the time was right that's exactly what happened. I found a mentor who taught me how to set up my own consulting business and I started specialising in helping young people define and achieve their dream life without any wasted time. So Alara Vural Coaching was born. What a rewarding investment!
4. Communities: I realised that on this trip, I got to attract my own community. Everyone I interacted with was because I consciously choose to.
- Dogs. I had such a strong calling to have a dog on this adventure of mine, but logistically it was a nightmare But looks like the universe was listening because I had a dog with or around me for the whole trip!
- Distant friends. I was welcomed into a very distant friends' arms like I was their sibling. No matter what the circumstance, no matter how late I called; the generosity of people I hardly knew left me feeling like I belonged wherever I went.
- Yoga friends. These were total strangers to me who I would now call siblings. Bonded through our dedication to yoga and sharing of such an raw experience. These are friends that I might not constantly talk to but can count on whenever I need to.
- Tribe. The beautiful people I met in Western Australia through work, through the yoga classes I taught and through the yoga retreat centre I lived at (Premalaya). Since knowing them, I feel like I belong. I feel that they've got my back, they affirm I'm on the right road and that I have a home there always.
- Mentors. My yoga teachers, books I read, seminars I went to, my life coach, my consulting mentor. I never thought I had role models but after this journey, I have a list!
5. Lessons: Exactly what I needed to learn to be the person who can achieve my dreams
- Being transparent.
I had a boyfriend before leaving England whom I admired so much. But we knew that long distance wasn't going to be easy. When in Bali, I felt divided. I was so present in every part of my life and evolving but holding onto a relationship I had before I started my journey. We kept being transparent and kept communicating until I realised that the right relationship evolves with the evolving individuals. However, when it had been about 4 months since we hadn't seen each other, I felt I was attracted to a friend. This was a very difficult and vulnerable time for both of us and by being brutally honest and open with him, not only did we overcome the challenging time but our relationship grew stronger because of it. He later came to visit me in Australia, I went back to the UK for a few months during my NLP training and by the time I was flying back out to Australia again to start my second season with Adventure Works we knew how we would make it work. Communication and connection.
- Risk vs. security balance.
I saw the value in taking risks and grabbing opportunities while appreciating the security of having a stable family to live with, a home back in the UK, a beautiful family in Turkey. Never before have I been so out of my comfort zone than I was when I was on my gap year. Be it when I landed in Bali and I only applied for a couple of jobs in Australia; be it when I moved to WA and had 4 days to buy a car, find accommodation and sort all my work documents out or when I tried to build a social life from scratch. But eventually, being out of my comfort zone became comfortable and I was making the most of opportunities.
- Listening to intuition/callings.
My number one guide in deciding on where to go and what to do. Its surprisingly easy to do when you have the space to be whoever you want to and all the noise of external influences on you are silenced.
- Overcoming fears.
As any tourist does, I was also terrified of snakes and sharks in Australia. When my mum came to visit me, we went to a reptile centre and for the first time in my life, I held a Children's Python. As I was holding it, I could feel my brain re-wiring itself and changing the beliefs it has around snakes. I had the same realisation around sharks when I met someone who has dived with the 5 most dangerous sharks in the world. He said they are inquisitive but really have no intention of eating you. When witnessing his passion and love for them, I realised the less we know about something, the more fear we have around it. What a paradox!
- Speaking my truth.
Through situations where I was misunderstood or was done wrong I learnt to have difficult conversations around with dignity, integrity and honesty. As a person that used to actively avoid conflict and confrontation, it was very hard for me stand up for myself. But I thank myself every day now for staying true to myself.
Perhaps one of the things most worried about on a gap year, but it is no more than an irrational fear. I self-funded my whole gap year which included 4 long haul flights, 4 short haul flights, 3 courses/qualifications, a car and accommodation. It is possible. You do have to give thought to it and not be reckless but with the right mindset finance is not a limitation to having a transformational gap year.
6. Tools I learnt: The 3 powerful tools I obtained that are perfect for the job when it comes to achieving my goals
- Yoga and wellbeing practices: Surrounding my self with principles, practices and students of yoga, I learnt some skills and developed practices which mean that I can bring myself into balance and maintain a healthy wellbeing through everything I go through
- Safe space: My love-filled month in Bali, the beautiful nature of Dunsborough, the family I lived with, friendships I made... All of these are very vivid in my mind
- Mindset tools: Through studying to become an NLP practitioner; I learnt some priceless mental tools to deal with anxiety, limiting beliefs, internal and external conflict, overthinking, setting goals and re-generating feelings and strengths as and when I need them. Like I said, it amazes me what the mind can do how huge the potential of each individual actually is.
7. Returning mindset and plan
Feeling a beautiful sense of completion, when I came back from my gap year, I knew exactly what I wanted and how to go about it. I decided to work with young people to help them define and achieve their dream life. I have learnt what I need to, built a beautiful community of people, got amazing and relevant experience, got training in my passion and am ready to add value to the world with it. I feel a great sense of calm and excitement at the same time!
One thing I love about the 90-live days challenge I'm doing at the moment on the Be Water Yoga and Coaching facebook page is that my daily life becomes my teacher that I can then share with my viewers. I was blessed recently with my soul sister that I met at my Yoga Teacher Training in Bali visiting my in the UK. On one of our long walks in the evening walking Joey, our dog; I was very thankful for my gift of articulation as we discussed a topic that is quite often misunderstood in today's world.
Dreading the thought of past relationships that go south.
Hating our ex.
What is a soul mate?
I first realised what I am about to explain now, when I was at uni. I mentioned it in my blog post ''Top Things I Learnt from Uni that aren't my Degree''. After the same topic coming up again with my friend the other day, I based Day 32 of the 90-live days challenge and on it and now I want to expand on why we never stop loving and why regret is a waste of energy.
We are attracted to people for a reason. Because with everyone we ever interact with we have something to exchange and grow from. That is why we attract them. Some people come into our lives to teach us one thing. They might not even know what it is. In fact most people are forever confused about how the hell someone has ended up in their lives. A person that treats us like dirt may be there in our lives for us to realise our self worth and that we don't deserve to be treated in that way. But on the other hand we might meet someone super empowering that teaches us that we're not just a leaf in the storm. We have the reins and its not about what happens to us, it's about what we choose to do about what happens to us. Most of the growth that happens through interactions with people we attract, never get verbalised, but can be felt and acknowledged.
This can be with someone that we meet for an hour, a friend we are close with for a year or a romantic relationship we have. But however long the relationship lasted, we had it for a reason and it had to happen in order for us to be who we are today.
When the lesson that we need to learn is learnt and we have grown; the attraction fizzles out, the relationship has served its purpose and its time to let go. This is why holding on to dead relationships does not serve us. It was right at the time but now it is like a tree holding onto its dead leaves. Recognizing when its time to let go is a very humble and empowering act.
However, there is an exception for this. If the two people who are attracted to each other both learn what the other has to teach them, they both grow. From this growth they now have something new to exchange and teach. They grow the learn, they grow more they learn more. This sustainable elevator model is the key to life-long relationships. Soul mates perhaps we could call them. Or soul sisters, brothers.
If a lesson stays unlearnt it will keep on repeating itself until it is learnt. This can be in the form of
1) Vicious cycles in relationships which can easily turn toxic
2) Attracting the same type of people over and over again into our lives (romantic and other)
All the more reason to ask: What am I learning from this relationship. Why did I attract them into my life. How can I grow from this?
''Change is the only constant'' Heraclitus (A Greek philosopher)
Embrace it. Enjoy it.
On the 7th of July, I announced that I was going to make a live video every day for the next 90 days.
This sounds like an awfully long time, and it is! And that is exactly the point.
My soul calling is to help young people navigate a pathway in their lives in line with who they are while providing the tools for them to do just that, to fly. We live in a world, designed more like railway tracks. Major decisions that dictate the direction we will be travelling in for the rest of our lives are often affected by external factors like tradition, expectation, status, money. Its not uncommon to get to 40 and look back on your life to say, ''Is this it? Is this all there is?''. The more we connect to our inner purpose, the more we live our life on our own terms.
So there; yoga to connect to an inner purpose, and coaching to give the mental tools to achieve what the soul desires.
Yet; however loud and clear this message is inside of me, it is only effective when it reaches the right people. Its a noisy world, and everyone wants their message to spread. Whether that's their Instagram post, something they're selling, their video. A lot of stuff are demanding our attention.
And even though I love giving private yoga classes and running breakthrough coaching sessions, I found that the self marketing side of it didn't come to me naturally at all! Its because I just felt like another person demanding attention.
Over time, it became clear to me that it isn't about me demanding attention, its me taking responsibility for delivering value to as many people as possible.
So I journaled. How can I deliver value, and make it accessible to everyone? My core intention wasn't coming across clearly. I needed to produce more consistent, value-adding material. I needed to find my own voice in comfortably and confidently talking about what I am most passionate about. And most importantly, make my material less about me and more about you.
The 90 live days challange is a commitment. To myself and to everyone it reaches. And the best thing about it is that I am learning as I go, while helping others grow.
There are some days where I really don't want to do one. But I film a video anyway, because it isn't about me after all.
My motto? Stay real. Add value. Share joy.
Namaskar (The light inside me, bows down to the light inside you)
Follow Be Water's 90 live days challange on Be Water Yoga and Coaching.
I wanted to share with you my journal from monday the 6th of November;
Today I had a very heartfelt, genuine day. It wasn't happy, it was just powerful and raw. I felt I connected to the most simple but commonly ignored human emotions. Compassion.
There's two weeks until my Yog Teacher Training and I'm in Derby for the month. Taking each day as it comes. Accepting work to fill my time and having some free days to sort stuff out before I leave.
But today I was able to do my soul proud - by not silencing it. Even writing this, my eyes tear up. I get tears of freedom when my soul feels open. Like when I deeply connect to nature or when I make an important decision from my heart or when I let my soul speak - apparently.
Despite the butterflies of anxiety in my stomach, I told my boss at a lovely pizza making job I enjoyed that the hours and days he dropped me to were too low for it to be worth my day. I felt compassionate in saying;
''Its not practical for me and I currently don't feel like I'm an essential member of your staff. If it won't be too much of an impact on you, it will be best for me not to come in tomorrow''.
He totally understood which made a sad but smooth goodbye, both of us understanding one another and knowing its for the best.
I walked back to my bike after work and realised that my front light was stolen. In the rawness of the moment I was a bit disappointed but gladly, didn't dwell on it too much and just navigated myself to the nearest bike shop and got bike lights.
On my way back, I saw a homeless man sitting on the side of the street. It made my heart ache, because it was such a freekin freezing night last night! I mean so cold, that when I went for a morning walk, everything including grass was frosted over. I asked Josh when I woke up; ''What do homeless people on nights like this?''. Its such a basic thing that we often overlook. So little are we grateful for it. Not just having a shelter but having a HOME.
I walked past this guy while noticing my mind going; ''If you walk away far enough, the heartache will go''. Thanks to some reading I've been doing recently, I identified this mind voice trying to over-rule my heart and inner child. I had to turn back.
Now I don't know why he's homeless. Some people, including myself, learn to block out this heartache felt when we see another human in distress, by justifying it saying; ''Why doesn't he just get a job?''. And I don't know why he doesn't get a job. But in the rawness I felt today, I couldn't take it upon myself to assume his circumstances, or plan out his life for him. I just know he looked cold, lonely, miserable and muted. I turned back and started talking to him. I knelt down to his level and tried to make gentle conversation. I offered him sandwiches I had with me but he refused. Then he just said; ''Look, this isn't helping. You talking to me. This is where I sleep and if cameras see this, they kick me out. I'm homeless. I need money.'' I felt it wasn't him begging for money, it was him stating the blatant truth.
I apologised and walked away. My ego was hurt a little bit, I mean I was someone talking time out my day to genuinely talk to him. He must be lonely. He can't have that many people stopping to talk to him. But thankfully I was able to observe my ego's voice and have my heart connect to the reality of the situation. It's f***ing freezing outside, he has no home; conversation isn't exactly on his priority list at the moment. Not out of guilt or feeling sorry for him but purely because of my uttermost compassion for him was I able to overlook the 'power pyramid' clearly carved into our minds by society. A pyramid which causes an over-protectiveness of objects and money and a numbness of feelings towards those less powerful than us. So I took out £50 in cash and turned back.
Before he knew I was about to hand him money, he started apologising for being rude before. I said it was OK and gave him the 50 quid. His reaction was priceless. I won't describe in in detail because its something I want to treasure in my heart forever and not on a piece of paper, bounded by the extent of my words. But his eyes, his smile, his big hug instantly bursted something within my soul and my eyes teared up with happy tears.
He knew exactly what to spend it on. A pair of waterproof walking boots that he saw for £30. He said that his trainers were three sizes too big for him and asked me for permission. I said; ''What the hell! Of course!''. He couldn't stop saying thank you, just like a child who just got a Christmas gift. He kept on turning back and smiling at me, saying that they'll last him 2 years! Then he bumped into someone because he wasn't looking where he was going. They said; 'You allright?''. He was like; ''Yeah! This young lady has just given me some money to get some shoes!''
Man , it wasn't happiness I felt. It was the raw and genuine fulfillment of making a change, helping someone and giving without expecting.
I've been sitting in a cafe for the last hour writing this. I was so grateful for having money to buy this cup of tea, the facilities to go to dance classes, having somewhere warm to stay. I looked at everyone else and thought how unaware they probably are to this simple luxury. I realised how widespread this unawareness actually is. And even within the hour of writing this, I noticed within myself how quickly I have got used to it. Its easy to forget about gratitude unless you actively bring your attention back to it.
I later found out that homeless people can't get jobs for a variety of reasons. Including lack of adress, employer pre-conceptions, lack of phone etc. This article explains further.
PS: To add to the eventful day, it turns out I dropped my bike helmet outside the bike shop I got the bike light from. Some kind person handed it into the shop and I redeemed it the day after. Phew! It wasn't even my helmet to loose.
When someone says 'Reiki master', 'Holistic energy', 'Energy healing' or 'Signs from the universe'; I think: ''Weirdos. What a products of a hippies' imagination''. I sometimes get the urge to ask: ''What happened to you to make you so loopy?''
I mean how can you be a master in holding your hand over someone and then call it Reiki healing? Tarting it up with fancy words like: 'Concentrating the healing energy of the universe' is not going to change the fact that you charge £100 per hour of brainwashing people into thinking that magic exists!
If the above is you, read on. I'm about to do some serious translating. This blog was inspired from when I was talking with a friend who thought just like the above for anyone who mentioned the words 'holistic', 'universe' 'energy' and 'healing' in the same sentence. The way they sound together... I can't blame her really. All this 'Energy' business tends to be explained in so 'airy fairy' words that people hardly realise that they already know most of whats trying to be said! So here it is; all wishy washy phrases translated - into ENGLISH :)
This is something that everyone has experienced one way or another. Juliet Lever explains this in her article where she says: If you fall over and hurt your knee, your first instinct is to put your hand over the wound. That is the most simple way of concentrating the energy of the universe.
What is 'the energy of the universe?'
Science, recognises forms of energy that can be measured by measuring devices. If its not not detected by these devices, it doesn't exist till the day it IS detected. However, the holistic approach is simply accepting 'feeling', 'patterns', 'dreaming' etc. as means to detect other types of energy that can't be detected by scientific devices. 'The energy of the universe' or 'holistic energy' is a collective name for all other types of energy detected by these alternative means. Some of these are meridians, auric bodies, chakras and nadis - which are commonly mentioned to in yogic language or Budism.
Reiki energy healing
Just as you can concentrate sunlight,using a magnifying glass correctly, to make fire; there are a number of techniques used to concentrate holistic energy for particular purposes. Meditation is one way to do this. Reiki is another. In contrast to meditation, it is someone else (a Reiki expert) doing the work and is used to heal a lot of illnesses and imbalances. There are actually over 800 hospitals in the US that offer Reiki as a complimentary treatment to cancer patients!
Intuition and Infinite Intelligence
We have all heard about our gut instinct no doubt. It's explained as evolution's most efficient way of passing on information to future generations. Also called gut intelligence, it is survival based information inherited from our ancestors and our own lifetime. However, the less-heard-of, 'heart intelligence', also known as 'intuition', works towards non-survival information such as happiness and life goals. Napoleon Hill (author of Think and Grow Rich) explains intuition as the connecting platform to infinite intelligence - a source of all knowledge. I know, i know. It sounds a bit 'other worldly'. But we all get 'hunches' and hunches are our body's way of feeling intuition. And the few people who actually take notice of these hunches and tune into their intuition have really known to become wildly successful. Take Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, Tony Robbins and Matthew Hussey as well as many more men and women!
Signs of the Universe
This is just outside of what I can explain to you logically, but I'm going to mention it anyway to those of you who made it this far as a bonus because its one hell of a cool thing! Yesterday I was feeling pretty down, during my walk along my local river. Later into the walk I stumbled upon a piece of land art with notes hung onto it. The words written on the notes were medicine for me in that moment. Encouraging, loving, supporting... They warmed my heart. Its a simple thing, and could quickly be labelled as coincidence. However, It has been recognised by a vast number of people, that the universe is constantly 'communicating' with you. This article explains what that actually means, but for now make this your experiment. Pay attention to that phrase on the stanger's t-shirt which caught your eye, or the topic of conversation that keeps on re-occuring, or that dream that you thought was quite peculiar. Look out for things you would just overlook as a coincidence and I want to hear what you come up with!
No matter how dubious you find yourself being about this whole subject, I urge you to try and understand it before judging. Like anything, you cannot judge a book by its cover. I will soon be going to Bali to do my yoga teacher training in November where I no doubt will learn more about this and will try to translate further, this language spoken behind the curtains of quantifiable science.
For now, many many warm hugs!
Alara is a WHY discovery coach, NLP practitioner, a Rite of Passage Facilitator and a Yoga/Meditation teacher. She specialises in helping business owners find and articulate their vision.